I am going through what many call "mid-life crisis". I call it the self-identity crisis. I have never in my life known such a thing really existed. I just always thought it was a bunch of jokes. But after being into it for 3 months and trying to figure out why I had suddenly turned crazy -- I get it. Maybe I will explain more one day, but one thing I know I need to do is get out my thoughts and feelings out with this. I learn some new wisdom everyday. What is funny is I suspect I have always known these things, but now they are like new to me. I see things with different eyes - or rather - a different perspective! So, after more soul searching last night, I came to the conclusion that one of the things I KNOW about myself is I am a "builder". I believe in building people. What I mean by this is I believe it is our duty as human beings, as sisters in the gospel, to build each other up. I like building people up. I like supporting them in their endeavors. I like building up their self-esteem. I like seeing joy in faces of people who have been given a good compliment, or have felt that someone is seeing the good in them. Now I am not naive. I realize there is good and bad in all. But I know it is important to meet people where they are at. That means to see where they are coming from and have an understanding of that. My patriarchal blessing says I will be able to know peoples needs and attitudes. Taking the time to understand someone makes all the difference in your relationship with them. Knowing where they are coming from helps you feel compassion for them. Now - you may not agree with them - but if you understand their thought processes or how they got to where they are - there is a great feeling of love for them. That is how Heavenly Father works. Since he knows our thoughts and the intentions of our hearts.; since He knows where we have come from and how the different situations that arise in our lives impact us; since He knows where are true desires lie; since He knows all about us, He IS ABLE TO LOVE US UNCONDITIONALLY. He knows what we can become. He works on us to knock off those sharp corners to make round edges and have us smooth and round like an eternal circle. (see temple symbols). If we are to become like Him, we must also take the time and have the desire to really love people. Not just on a generic level, but a true, unselfish love. And to do that, we must understand where they are coming from. It is like my favorite example of 4 people seeing the same car accident, but each one writing down a different version because of where they were standing when they saw it happening. It is the same accident, and each one is right because of their perspective on it. We must look at their perspective and then have charity towards them. For without charity we are nothing. So -- that being the case -- we must then be builders of each other. If we are critical or angry or hurtful that is totally against the nature of God and ultimately against our own nature. The plan was to come here on earth to gain a body and learn for ourselves what our true nature is (thus the veil). We don't have to prove to God who we are because He already knows. However, we must prove it to ourselves. And we have all the tools we need to do this. God did not leave us empty handed. But, we have to make a conscientious choice to do this and not just flit from emotion to emotion. We must have control over our appetites and passions (anger, criticism, judgmental, etc.) And we were not sent here to be alone. We are not all on our own island getting that body and figuring out who we are. We are intertwined with all humanity. And that involves our interactions with each other. The people that I see as angry or critical or so so so unhappy! They think they are better when they criticize. I see them as having a low self-esteem so they must step on others (criticize) to lift themselves up. I see them as judging others because that makes them feel they are in a higher position to judge -- therefore lifting themselves up. If the need to be lifted up is so great, they must not feel good about themselves. So they have fallen into the trap of Satan's or do not have a knowledge that they are a son/daughter of God. They do not understand all that implies. They do not realize how glorious they are.
All these thoughts mushed together - hopefully they make sense. But if not, they are out of my head.
But the reason I began was to state again - I am a builder. I realize the importance of knowing who a person is. I realize it is important for that person to also realize who they are. In order to do that you must show respect to that person. You must understand where they are coming from. And you must try to help them to become a better person.
This must not be mistaken for going into "fix it" mode. That is something different entirely. But a builder is someone who sees you for who you are, loves to see what you can become, and loves you unconditionally and with that love is positive and kind and gentle with you. Does not tear you down with judgments, criticisms, hateful words, snide remarks, or selfishness. So, the challenge here is to take a look at those you are the closest to and be a builder to them --EVEN WHEN THEY ARE NOT BUILDING YOU. It is a huge God-like trait. Love, Mom
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